


Just Seven Days

by justmeandmymuse



Series: Cannes Series [2]
Category: Australian Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Thor (Movies) RPF, hiddlesworth - Fandom
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 07:18:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13141749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justmeandmymuse/pseuds/justmeandmymuse
Summary: After an incident with a fan at Cannes, Tom and Chris wonder what their future together might look like.





	Just Seven Days

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this three years ago shortly after the Cannes story and just found it on my HD again. Hope you enjoy!

"Chris, I'm fine. I really am. It was one incident. One. Nothing happened to me."

"Argh!" Chris was quite obviously agitated. "Where was Luke while this happened?"

"He was right there, and he went between us, and right after him were three bodyguards and got her back behind the barricades. Really. Chris. Just one girl."

He could hear Chris' heavy breathing through the phone line.

"I'm too far away," Chris said.

"You have to be," Tom said. "It's okay."

"No, it's not. I know you're downplaying it. _I know you._ How could this girl even get through? I've seen the pictures, those barricades were sky high!"

In the beginning of their relationship, Tom would have worried. He would have wondered whether Chris was taking him over, was too overprotective, would not let him make his own decisions. But now that he knew him better, he knew that all that was driving him was genuine concern and the feeling that one of his loved ones was threatened and he was helpless to do anything about it, because he was so incredibly far away.

"What do you want to do?" Tom asked calmly.

"I'll have a talk with Luke," Chris growled.

Tom and Luke already had had a talk. A grave one. Luke was incredibly apologetic and had, in turn, thrown such a temper tantrum towards Cannes security that for the rest of the night, two bodyguards had been no more than two meters from Tom's side at any time. After a fan had somehow wandered through the barricades as if they were thin air and thrown herself at him, literally, Tom was thankful for the two bodyguards. Fans were fine. Nutters were nutters. And it seemed that the more famous he became, the more the nutters came out of the woodwork, and he knew there had to be consequences. There just had to be.

"Okay," he said.

"Okay?" Chris seemed surprised.

"Yes. Have a talk with Luke," Tom said.

Chris exhaled. "Thank you."

"I know you love me and want me to be safe. Talk to Luke," Tom said. "I think you'll both feel better afterwards." Luke had clearly waited to be taken to task, and Tom just didn't have the heart. If Luke and Chris had it out with each other, both men would feel better afterwards – Chris for feeling he had done something to make sure it wouldn't happen again, and Luke for getting the dressing down that he felt he deserved.

"Okay... wow. I didn't expect you to say okay."

Tom smiled. He suddenly felt tired and exhausted. The tension and excitement of the last two days was finally washing away and he dared to actually feel how much the incident had scared him. He knew it was part of a certain kind of fame, but… knowing it and experiencing it were two different things.

"Can we just curl up somewhere together?" Tom asked wistfully, knowing it was impossible as they were so far apart, him back in his flat in London, and Chris in L.A. in major prep for _Cyber_. "I could really do with a good hug right about now."

"I'm not done yet," Chris said. "I just need to get one more thing out."

"Okay." Tom couldn't suppress a yawn and already sank into the sofa cushions. "I'm sorry, I am really listening, I'm just incredibly tired."

"I know," Chris' voice was full of tenderness. "Tom, let me hire a private security service for you. To protect you when I can't be there."

"Okay." Tom smiled. He'd thought about it, himself, but he knew it would make Chris so happy to be able to do this for him.

"Also okay?" Chris asked. "Tom, this must have been much worse that you've let on."

"It was pretty bad," Tom admitted. "She just came out of nowhere and kind of launched herself at me." He shivered. "Really, Luke was between us in a flash and pulled her off me. It was over so fast!"

"Oh, Tom." Chris sounded compassionate and a little bit scared. "It could've been someone who'd really wanted to get at you."

"I know. That's what's not leaving me alone," Tom admitted. "It was pretty scary. The rest of the evening went fine, though. I got one of those elegant Montblanc ink pens as a gift at the dinner reception. They inscribed my name on it. It looks so nifty."

"Did you dance?"

"Yes." Tom smiled. "It was really wonderful, everything so elegant and festive. A true celebration of film and all its wonders."

"I'm so glad you had a good time," Chris said indulgently. "Now cuddle yourself in."

"I wish I could cuddle in with you," Tom said sadly, knowing that he was childish because he was so tired. But he did pull the soft blanket off the sofa backrest and wrapped it around himself, sighing with pleasure when he had settled down.

"I know," Chris said. "I really can't wait to see you next week."

"I'm going to be working a lot." Tom would spend some time in L.A. to record his voice for Disney's _Pirate Fairy_ , and it came with a tight schedule.

"So will I, love, but... just knowing you'll be home with me at night is already helping."

"I love you."

"I miss you so much." The whispered confession was a little of a red flag. They usually didn't tell each other, it just hurt too much.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Tom blinked, sleep forgotten for the moment.

"Just cranky that you're not there. Cranky that I couldn't make it to Cannes. Cranky at the schedule I got that may mean we won't be able to see each other for two months. I'm a grown man, for Christ's sakes." Chris sighed.

"Honey, let's just concentrate on the fact that I'm going to be over next week," Tom soothed.

"For ten days," Chris mewled. "I love my job, but... but this is hard."

"You're pretty tired, aren't you?" Tom asked gently.

"Knackered." Chris exhaled.

"I'm noticing," Tom said. "Take a nap with me?"

"Okay." The fact that Chris so readily agreed told him everything.

Tom heard more rustling on the other end and waited until Chris had settled down. "All tucked in?"

"'Uh-huh." Chris yawned.

"Just seven days, honey. Just seven," Tom soothed. "And I'm going to have my arms wrapped around you."

"You better," Chris mewled.

"Sweetheart..." Tom drawled. "Honey, please..."

"I'm sorry." Chris sighed. "I'm letting it get to me how much I miss you." There was a long pause. Tom wished he could see Chris' face now.

"What is it, Chris?" He asked.

"The whole Cannes thing just got to me more than I thought it would," Chris admitted.

"That one girl?"

"I think one of the main reasons why I'm so upset about that girl is because I should've been there, Tom. I should've been there to see you in Cannes, I should've been there by your side, like I wanted to. Like we wanted to."

"Do you feel like it's your fault?" Tom asked gently. It would be so Chris.

"It's not my fault, but it's like a sign from heaven that says I was supposed to be there and I wasn't." Chris sounded desperate. "And seeing what my schedule is going to look like for the next three months I know it's going to be near impossible to see you any length of time. And I think I should be there... and I'm afraid what's going to happen when I'm not." He snorted. "It's so hard to put into words."

"I wish I could hold you right now," Tom said. "Oh Chris."

"I think..." He fell silent again.

"Just say it, honey," Tom urged. "It doesn't matter what it is."

"Tom, I can't talk to anyone about you," Chris said. "I see Elsa a lot because of India and everyone seems to think that's great. Like I want to be back together. I don't. But I can't tell anyone about this awesome, mindblowingly incredible person I love and it kills me."

"The _Thor_ premiere," Tom said. "We're going to come out before the _Thor_ premiere. When you've been here for a month and we had time to prepare some things."

"Kevin is so going to kill us."

"I don't care any more, Chris," Tom said passionately. "It's been killing you since we first got together, that you can't be open about us. I talked to Luke about it and we have some ideas. We come out on our own terms, but we have to do it some time, and some time soon. We can't put our lives on hold because of everyone else's interests. If we want to do it when no one else's interests are at stake, we'll never do it."

"What do you mean?" Chris asked.

"I think our separation gets to you so much because you can't acknowledge that we're together. If no one sympathizes with you it's even harder. I may be completely off the track here but I think if you could tell people you're looking forward to seeing me, or that you're missing me, or when you're down, they can ask you what's wrong, and you can tell them it's because I'm not around..."

"I just want people to know that you're mine," it burst out of Chris. "And that I'm yours, obviously."

"Yeah." Oh, what Tom would give right now to be able to see and hold Chris. "Be entitled to feeling awful because my lover isn't there."

"Are you ever?" Chris asked.

"Always," Tom said. "Don't you know that? When I was in Cannes I kept scanning the crowd hoping to meet your eyes..." He felt himself choke up.

"I didn't know that," Chris said. "I thought you were dealing with it okay."

"If I give in to how I feel about being separated from you, I'm going to cry until you come home to me," Tom said. "I just can't."

It was quiet for a while on the other end.

"You need to tell me sometimes," Chris said softly. "You need to. I need to know or I'm thinking I'm even alone in our relationship and that's a really sucky feeling."

That hit hard, and Tom needed a moment to digest what Chris had said. "I didn't realize that," he said. "But I don't know how else to deal with us not being together right now, either, without falling completely apart."

"Long distance isn't really our thing, is it?" Chris asked compassionately.

"It's not mine, at least," Tom said. "And I never thought I'd say that. Never. I do need the adventure and the traveling and the not-being-done-with life."

"But I want it with you."

"Yeah." Tom realized that Chris had expressed exactly what he was feeling. "I want it with you." He exhaled and felt himself relax a little more.

"I never thought I'd feel like that for another man," Chris said after a moment of quiet.

"Hm?"

"Like wanting... a family with you," Chris explained shyly.

Tom's breath hitched. "What do you mean?"

"That mutual dependability. Knowing where I belong. Knowing that we're a unit, and wanting everyone to acknowledge that. All of that, Tom."

"Going through things together. Making decisions together. Making decisions that benefit us as a family, instead of us individually," Tom thought out loud.

"Yeah."

"Wow."

"I don't know where that came from," Chris said.

"Same place mine comes from," Tom appeased him.

"Hm?"

"I knew before how much I loved you and how much you'd done for me," Tom said. "But since we're apart, I realize how important it is to me to have your voice in everything I do. I want to make a decision on my own reasoning, but I want to share it with you. Hard to explain."

"It's where we're going, though, isn't it?"

Tom let the feeling he just had run through him again, tasting it. "Tell me again what direction that is?"

"Tom, I want a family with you," Chris said. "I want us to be committed to be together. I want us to make joint decisions and... now I'm beginning to scare myself."

The words _Will you marry me?_ had been so thick in the room, Tom had to swallow.

"Good," he croaked. "Because it's still scaring me, too."

"Will you think about it, though?" Chris asked.

"Tell me exactly what about so there's no chance of misunderstanding," Tom said.

"Building a family with me, Tom." Chris sounded insistent, a bit impatient.

"I'm already thinking about that," Tom said quietly. "Every moment of every day that I want to share with you."

He'd managed to make Chris speechless, which didn't happen often.

"You still there?" Tom probed. He could hear Chris breathing through the phone.

"Yeah." He could hardly hear him. "Damn Tom, I don't know what to say."

It made Tom smile. "I love you so much," he said. "I want to learn how to do that, build a family with you."

"Uh-huh." Chris sounded rather choked. "Wow."

"Can I admit something to you?" Tom asked.

"Sure."

"It might make you upset," he cautioned.

"Okay." Chris cleared his throat. "Go for it."

"Chris, I'm... I never thought I'd say that but it does scare me to go there. I want it very much, but at the same time I'm so afraid."

"Of what?" Chris asked very gently.

"That it could go wrong. Because I have no concept of how to do it right. I think you need role models for that kind of thing – and mine weren't very good."

"And I obviously have no idea how to do it, either, given that I'm in the middle of a separation," Chris said. "Is that what you were afraid I'd get upset about?"

"Yeah." Tom's voice was very small. "And I don't want to hurt you, but it's a lot like the blind leading the blind and that just scares me."

"What are you most afraid of?" Chris asked, no sign of him being upset.

"Getting stuck," Tom said. "I remember you once said to me that you were in the middle of your marriage with Elsa, and you looked around and thought: 'There must be more than that.' I'm afraid that..."

"… and I remember telling you that when I'm with you, all the color comes back and life makes sense," Chris said gently. "And that hasn't changed in the three years I've known you."

"You mean we should be more than family or lovers, we should be friends?"

"I thought we were?" Chris voice was so patient, compassionate. It allowed Tom to just spin his thoughts without having to think about the impact they might have on Chris.

"Yeah," he said, and found himself smiling.

"Tom, you are so important to me," Chris said, and Tom could hear the yearning through the line. "I want to tie my life to yours with no way back."

"I want that, too." It was out so fast, and with such longing in his voice.

"But you are totally right to be cautious," Chris said. "I met and married Elsa within four month's time. I don't want to repeat my mistake. I've always said I wanted to earn the right to tell the next person... Tom, let's cut the crap, I want to earn the right to ask _you_ to be with me for the rest of our lives. I don't want anyone else. Everyone else stopped existing the moment we kissed the first time."

All Tom could do was swallow. It was almost too much.

"There is no universal truth about how to do that," Chris said. "As sad as it may be that I need counseling to deal with Elsa, it's also teaching me a lot. I want to earn the right to be with you. I want to feel that I'm the man you deserve, Tom. And I think I'm on my way there but nowhere near finished."

"When will you be finished?" Tom asked, his voice tinny and trembling.

"When you feel completely safe with me," Chris said. "When I can ask you and you'll just say yes without a second's thought because you just  _know_ ."

"Chris, with my history, I'm so much  _work_ ..."

"No,  _I'm_ so much work," Chris said. "If I was the man you needed right now, we wouldn't need to have this discussion."

"I wish I could just overcome my insecurities and doubts," Tom said.

"And I think they are our best compass to what we still need to work on," Chris said. "Because that's one thing Elsa and I never stopped to do, take our insecurities and doubts seriously. We rushed into this headlong, because we thought the other had something that we needed. She wanted a husband who wanted children fast and was famous enough to help her along in her career. And I wanted someone who would give me a family and wanted me back. And we both should have waited and took our doubts seriously. We should’ve been honest with each other, and with ourselves."

"And then you'd still be together?" Tom asked.

"And then we'd probably have never married," Chris said. "That is the simple truth of it, as sad as it is."

"What if that's what we'll discover, too?"

"I can't think that we will," Chris said. "Wanting to work on ourselves so we can be the best partners to each other that we could possibly be is an act of love, Tom. If I didn't love you so incredibly much, I would probably not care what I'm doing to you with who I am and what I've done. But I do care."

"If it came to that, would you go to counseling with me?" Tom asked.

"Without a second thought," Chris assured him. "I don't even have to think about it."

"Because I think I may need it." He'd never dared to admit it to himself.

"And that's okay, too," Chris said. "It really is, Tom."

"Please give me something I can get upset about," Tom begged, half-laughing.

"Heh heh." He could hear Chris smile through the phone.

Tom turned on his back, and they were both quiet for a while, just listening to each other breathe.

"I love you  _so much_ ," Tom finally said.

"Likewise." Chris sighed. "I can't wait to have you back."

"After all the things we've just said to each other," Tom said, "what I wish most for is to fall asleep next to you and then spend the night happily waking up every five minutes and marvel at you."

"Just seven days now, Tom," Chris whispered. "Just seven days."

 


End file.
